The Art of Letting Go: The Social Media Fast

2020 taught me what was necessary, and 2021 showed me how to let it go if it wasn't. I let go of relationships, unreasonable expectations placed on myself by me and others. I even let go of nighttime TV binging to some surprising results. I put my phone away after 9:00 pm and gave up food for 20 hours every day for 40 days. But most rewardingly, I walked away from Instagram and what happened next was nothing short of amazing.

Deciding to go on an Instagram social fast for 31 days was scary. I used the platform almost daily for six years to build a wellness brand with nearly 20,000 loyal followers with authentic content, and I was a legit micro-influencer. Content creation, while incredibly time-consuming, was only a tiny part of it: understanding engagement, algorithms, the thought-equity, and creativity needed to sustain the platform were exhausting.

Each day, I spent hours posting, commenting, liking, sharing, and quietly stalking other thought-leaders to see what they were doing and how I could be better, on top of my actual money-making job and being a full-time mom. And don't even get me started on the "scroll rabbit hole." I was giving Instagram hours of my life, and though I knew people saw value in my content, I no longer saw that same value in the platform.

Day 1 of my social fast was tough, but I expected that. I had fallen victim to unlocking my phone for one reason and subconsciously opening the 'gram, only to forget why I initially picked up the phone. My fingers were trained to open the app, and rightfully so, that's precisely what Facebook designed it to do. Side note: Watch The Social Dilemma on Netflix; it explains it better than I ever could.

On Day 7, I got my first IG free screen time report—my daily usage was down almost two hours. That's 14 hours a week spent on a social platform. I thought, "what the hell are you doing?" Spending that much time doing anything should either bring you financial gains, insurmountable joy, or at the very least add value to your life. IG was failing all three. It felt like a job with no PTO, a micromanager, and very little pay.

Yes, I was encouraging people to live well, eat well, and think well, but I was doing it on a platform filled with NOISE. Noise, that was lowering the moral fabric of humanity. Noise, that was decreasing the esteem of young minds while increasing their suicide rate. Noise, that was contributing to bullying, ridicule, hate, and judgment. Noise, that forced people to pick a side. What happened to empathy and compassion?

By day 14, I hit a stride. I found myself more accountable with my time. I wouldn't touch my phone the first hour after waking. That nagging number of unread emails was gone by the end of each day. I was checking off all of my to-do's each day and then some.

I was doing all the things y'all! I was working from home, prepping meals during the day, doing at least one load of laundry each day (the vain of a mother's existence), and keeping the house tidier than I had all pandemic. I felt like I had more energy to do things I needed to do but still found time to do the things I wanted to do. I was even going to bed earlier and waking up naturally around 5:30 am.

On Day 20, I found myself captive on a two-hour flight and started going through my photo album. I had over 12k photos that I had tried to edit for months. As I went through and began deleting photos, I made an astonishing discovery. More than half of the images were taken for content. Content that I either forgot about or chose not to post. By the end of my round-trip flight, I had reduced my photos by half.

That was over 6,000 times spent capturing a moment rather than being in the moment. What had I missed? What could I have learned? What moments would I never have the chance to experience again? Sadly, all of them.

With day 27 came the aha moment. I was around a group of friends, and they were all talking about a particular viral moment, and I was clueless. I didn't have an urge to dig deeper into the story. I was okay, not being "in the know." Someone else's virtual life wasn't consuming mine, and I liked it. In fact, I loved it.

I was on a social fast role. I was more present with friends and actively listened and engaged in conversation. I gave my kids undivided quality time, and I was purging every corner of my house. I donated and trashed items in my home that were old, unused, or no longer brought me joy. I started getting dressed every day even though I WFH, and it felt good. With my priorities shifted and more time for productivity, I enrolled in two courses that proved pivotal to my personal growth and development.

But the most shocking revelation was the liberation from taking back my private life. As an "influencer" I had shared almost everything in my life for over 5 years. Very few things were off-limits. Not posting for a month made me realize that everything in my life wasn't meant to be documented. It was meant to be lived and experienced. The relationships that meant the most to me weren't affected by my social fast. Those relationships had always been nourished through phone calls, get-togethers, facetime, and zoom.

Now ten days past my intended social fast end date, I only reinstalled the app to upload a post about my eventual return. I deleted the app immediately after—to this day I have no idea the likes or comments. My life without social feels unequivocally better, more accomplished, and purposeful. So for now, until I know how to show up on the app in a manner that supports my well-being first, I'm staying off.

To the beautiful community I have built on that platform; I have not forgotten about you. I am feverishly working on an off-platform network to share the content you've come to love in a way that supports your wellness and mine. In the meantime sign up to receive my weekly woke & healthy newsletter at wokeandhealthy.com.

Who knew giving up one thing or a series of one things over the year would make room for more abundance, time, joy, and love in my life. Is there anything in your life you'd be willing to give up to make room for more of what your spirit enjoys?